What shall I do tomorrow? Go and spend £6 on a coffe and muffin at my favourite cafe? Go to the gym? Read the New Yorker? All of the above? Having been denied all of them for the past seven days, I feel like going on a bender. It’s been very difficult to stick to my weekly budget of £34.17, and I have to admit I have been something of a tart, accepting drinks and a few evenings out with pathetic gratitude. I also think the State Pension itself could do with a bit more thought; means testing must be brought in, and how can people in their 30’s be made to understand that in the great scheme of things they probably will not be run over by a bus, might live much longer than their own grandparents, and so will have to perhaps deal with years stretching ahead on a very tight budget. All these thoughts crowded my mind as I made my vegetable soup or went to the library for the tenth time in the week. On a positive side, however, there are stacks of freebies to take advantage of, if you have the energy, and a pensioner’s programme ranging from Line Dancing to Anger Managment speaks volumes about the average pensioner these days - basically, foxy and rather stroppy.

And its not over yet. What can I tell you about today? Only that I needed to buy the children some shoes…get a birthday present for a friend…buy a friends’ book which she had just written…have a cup of coffee…and so on, and so forth. All of which I had to hand over to my husband to fund. Which left me with a nice day travelling gratis around London on public transport and visiting the Imperial War Museum which of course is also free. Not the temporary show, however, so we couldnt do that. And one of the children had to be evicted bodily from the shop because he wanted me to buy this, and that, and had a major tantrum when said treats were denied him. (They would have been denied him anyway but my project gave me greater impetus). The other thing was that I met up with a friend - like me, in her mid-40’s - who said that she suffers sleepless nights over the fact she has no  pension. I think I may have added to her insomnia. Bon soir.

I think if you are a pensioner on your own, its jolly difficult. By the end of the week I have been longing to go out and socialise. And I have a husband here, and as we all know, lovin’ is free, is it not. But if you are solitary, then having £34.17 only is jolly difficult. I mean, you can’t even buy your mate lunch, or take someone out for a drink. I’m going to the cinema tonight for a bit of socialising, knowing that it was my last bit of money I was blowing, but hoping that my loaf of bread, veg soup and bit of stew will last me until Sunday when I hit the high time with roast Sunday lunch at my mother’s. Visiting family on a Sunday has been done since time immemorial by pensioners so this is quite within the rules, is it not?

Well I now have about a tenner to last me until Sunday. It’s OK because I have lots of veg and a stew, but what if something untoward happens? Not a disaster, because the state will (hopefully) pick up the bill if that is the case, but just a little event. Today I smashed a teapot, for example. So that was £6 to buy a new one from a dirt-cheap shop (although it pours like a dream and I love it already). I forgot my packed lunch today and had to fork out 2 quid for a sandwich at SubWay. It was hideous, tiny and involved ONE rectangle of processed cheese. For Two Quid!! My radical thoughts about the state pension is this: I don’t know if they are means tested, but I suspect they are not (too much paperwork). But it is a nonsense. For a pensioner rich with assets, property, no mortgage and so on, getting the state pension every week is a nonsense. Yet for those who only have it to live off, as we have ALL found, its just not enough money. Why dont the rich lot forego their pensions so the poor lot can have top-ups. Just a thought, because I think living on the bare minimum each week, SubWay sandwiches and the rest, is not really living. Its a misery.

Had a few criticisms about my outing last night - along the lines of ‘most pensioners can’t go out for champagne and canapes, you know.’ Hang on, though. There were quite a few over 60’s at the BFI last night including champion Oldie Joan Bakewell. And although Dame Joan is hardly representative, there are quite a few women and men like her - older but still active, interested and probably extremely well educated. So my night was representative, just not in the way that we perhaps wrongly classify ALL pensioners.

To right the balance however I hit the library today to see what provision there is for people who might prefer to have a few freebies thrown their way. And although Islington Council gets knocked for quite a lot, in my view its provision for the 50+ people in this borough is great. Free swims, yoga, walking tours and also a drop in centre for Grandparents and toddlers, which encompasses those thousands of grandparents who help their adult children continue working by looking after their kids. I’m going to go on an Archway Amble tomorrow, which I’m looking forward to, and if I’m brave enough, belly dancing at 5.30. I know this is an excercise and we are all pretending, but suddenly I feel a bit more valued.

Hoorah. Just when I was desparing of never having anything to eat but pumpkin soup on my budget, along comes a friendly award ceremony. The Grierson Documentary Award, to be precise. Hosted by Andrew Marr with lots of amazing films, interesting people and yes! delicious supper. Plus bubble. Very good indeed. Have spent only £10 in total of my budget now, on vegetables and a bit of very cheap meat (mutton) which I have converted into a delicious stew with a bit of water, a tin of tomatoes and an onion. That’ll do me for tomorrow. I’m going to have a swim in the morning, which will be free. I did the family online shop today at Sainsbury’s and spent £112 in about two minutes. Made me realise how much harder it is to have such a strict budget. Sounds obvious but you don’t know until you try.

yes well I am trying an experiment for a week - I’ve been asked to do this alongside various other people including an MP. Looking forward to see how THEY cope with no expenses allowance he he. After my allowances for water, heating etc however my pension has SHRUNK to precisely £34.17, for seven days. So forget about haircuts, drinks, clothes, books, theatre, cinema or anything fun. Today I spent £3.50 on a pumpkin, an aubergine and some veg, with a tiny bit of rice. And made pumpkin soup (lunch) and pumpkin curry (supper). In between I went to the library and read some papers. Hmm. I think I need to go to that book launch tomorrow night, as at least I’ll score a couple of glasses of red wine there.